I wrote last spring about clothing as a representation of identity. There’s an interesting dialogue going on now about clothing and other status symbols as they relate to class in the United States, begun by the essay “The Logic of Stupid Poor People” by Tressie McMillan-Cottom. Of course, this is not about exploring identity through appearance and presentation, as I was talking about, and much more about what it means to be able to carry off different signals of class and education through appropriate attire, speech patterns, and the like. This is a world in which whether you wear a cotton tank top or a silk shell under your blouse can mean the difference between being hired and being dismissed as not right for the job, regardless of any other qualifications.
This summer Theodora Goss wrote about the Lady Code:
“So dressing, for a woman, is a complicated affair. When you look into your closet in the morning — and even before that, when you buy your clothes in a store or online — you are making a choice about what you want to communicate. You are speaking in a coded language.”
This is, I think, why I am so interested in clothes, because I do see them as a means of communication. I didn’t learn the lady code or any of this sort of communication at home; my mom was completely not interested in matters of clothing or personal appearance. So I’ve had to learn it gradually as an adult, and I remember how much I still don’t know when I read some of Theodora’s posts. I don’t know the right kind of dress to wear to the ballet. I didn’t know that professional women don’t wear nail polish. For that matter, I didn’t realize the important distinction between a silk shell and a cotton tank top.
I’m fascinated that this coded language exists. Some people are unaware of it; some people don’t care about it (although when that is the case, it is usually because they are in a position in which they don’t have to care). Some people have trouble saying what they’d like to with it, either because they don’t know the language well enough or because they don’t have the financial wherewithal. That’s why historically if you were going to be introduced into society, you’d usually have some kind of sponsor, someone who could teach you all the intricacies you’d need to know to send the right message with your appearance and behavior.
John Scalzi talks about his go-to clothing choices (Levis, polo shirt, casual brown shoes) and how they represent “the basic uniform for a middle-class male.” Where I live, in the Silicon Valley, even a polo shirt for a man represents a certain amount of effort. Some men here tend to deliberately ignore style, which is a code in and of itself. Wearing random ill-fitting blue jeans and a free swag T-shirt from your company of employment? Probably a software engineer. Getting to wear those clothes is one of the perks of that position, at least if you’re a guy. I see that uniform less often on women around here, and even when I do see it, the clothing items tend to have a better fit, but I’m not close enough to the industry to say whether this is true across the board or not. I’ve also seen software engineers have to spruce up their wardrobes when they’re after certain promotions; they need their clothes to say something slightly different at that point. (But not too different. It’s a fine line.)
Look closely to see the little dog in this photo….
Today I’m wearing a black turtleneck sweater with metallic detailing, a ribbed blue shirt that peeks out from the bottom of the sweater, and stylish blue jeans. I’m wearing sneakers because I was out walking the dog this morning, but I’ll probably change shoes before I go out tonight. I’m not wearing any makeup, and I deliberately have a low maintenance hair cut. No jewelry today, although I’d add a necklace if I wanted to try harder.
All of those facts mean something in the coded language of dress and appearance. What are you wearing today? What messages do you think you’re sending? (And if you’re wearing a Halloween costume, I want to hear about that too, and especially what you think your choice of costume says about you.)
The Practical Free Spirit 
I usually equate daily dress with “selling a brand. I still wear a black suit to interviews.I am not fortunate enough to even get to the interview stage, but my current job is ok.
I know some people change their entire wardrobe each season, but I get so overheated going indoors in the winter, I have to wear short sleeves.
Thank for posting!
Have a safe Halloween!!
Some people are allergic to the idea of personal brand, but there are some interesting aspects to it. I have to add sweaters and other layers in the winter, even though I live in California!
For so long, all I wore were workout clothes, and all my money for fashion went into my stage competition suits and costumes. (like, SO much money) When I stopped competing, I was like, wait a minute, you mean, I can wear fun, cool clothes ALL the time? Ever since, that’s been my goal.
I have a lot of fun with clothes too. Especially when I’m working outside of the necessity of having to give a certain specific message, although even sometimes then.
I’ve had to learn a new language at my new job: the old one was jeans or shorts with T-shirts exclusively, and the new one is button-down shirts and slacks (although I’ve been pushing the boundaries with new, fashionable jeans that fit me properly). It’s quite a change, to be sure.
It’s amazing how much difference a button-down shirt can make. Hope you don’t find the change too constraining!
Now: uniform. That uniform says a great deal, intentionally. The state of that uniform also says a lot to those in the know.
Later: Jeans and T-shirt with some smart-ass quote.
Uniforms are really fascinating, since we are conditioned by society to have certain reactions to different ones. I’ve noticed in military fiction sometimes time is spent noting the state of the uniform as a means of characterization.
One of the many reasons I like the game industry is because (within the areas of the industry I work) I could dress however I liked and it didn’t matter (I still love the fact that at one moment in my career I was sitting in a Senior VP’s office at GT Interactive, seriously discussing several million dollar projects that I wanted canceled, him in a three piece suit and me in shorts and tshirt, a dog collar, and my hair in a mohawk gathered into topknots).
That does sound like an entertaining picture. 🙂
Oh, good timing on this!
Over the past few days I finally figured out something, after reading a few posts about local (San Francisco) issues and seeing how I was getting treated in restaurants and stores.
For various reasons, I wear very simple clothes. Athletic pants, jeans, t-shirts, sneakers. No make up.
All the retail workers in San Francisco are super, super nice to me, and it’s only been getting more so since I moved here. It’s baffling. Why? Everywhere else, dressing *nice* gets better treatment. I fully expect to be sneered at or ignored.
Then I read several online articles, with reactions to the influx of wealthy young people who… let’s say… haven’t yet quite figured out how to deal politely with the rest of the world. My clothing inadvertently (and probably my age, to be honest) gives really strong signals that I’m *not* one of *those people* and thus I likely know how to behave myself.
Talk about an unexpected clothing code.
Huh. That is fascinating. The unspoken clothing language is filled with complexities. It can be a fun game to play when out in public too. I tend to spend a fair amount of time looking at people’s shoes.
I’m having trouble figuring out how differently I’m supposed to dress as a female tech entrepreneur in Silicon Valley.
In software development jobs, I’ve learned it’s crucial not to look like you’re making an effort to be attractive, because (1) the socially awkward guys will stare, (2) the upper management will take you less seriously, and (3) the guys with half an ounce of social awareness will notice if you’re dressing up more lately and assume you’re trying to attract someone. However, you ARE allowed to look like you’re making an effort to be unique. So most of the time I went with nice jeans/corduroys, a fitted tee with a geek phrase or logo, and some quirky jewelry.
As a cofounder of a startup, I’m still in Silicon Valley, and I still interact with a lot of geeky guys, though the average clue level is higher and I interact with more women. So it still needs to be more casual than most, and not provocative. I feel like I’m supposed to be wearing something nicer than fitted graphic tees, but that would have put me in a standoffish-seeming minority at the last conference I attended. So confusing! Instead I trimmed and dyed my hair. It’s a start?
Maybe I should ask on my blog.
If you do ask, I want to know the answer! I’m not sure what I would wear were I in your position. It does sound like a complicated maze to navigate. At science fiction conventions, I sometimes am torn between wearing the well-fitting geeky T-shirt, or wearing a slightly nicer top. It’s a hard call.
I have mixed feelings about clothing. I don’t want to look like i don’t fit in, but I also don’t like spending a lot of money that I could have used for things i value more than clothes, like travel and education. I also feel like I should be using extra money to help people. I have sometimes felt weird trying on expensive clothing because it makes me look like I’m in a social class higher than I feel comfortable in.
Isn’t it strange how even *trying on* different clothing can make us feel uncomfortable because of its style and implied class associations?
When I was still doing stunts, there was most definitely a code among female stunt performers–show off your (poor, gym-tortured and starving) body but don’t look feminine. NO dresses or skirts. I eventually rebelled against that and then I kind of gave up caring what other people thought entirely and went just for “comfortable”. I do have a love affair with David and Goliath t-shirts, though, because I love to make people laugh. 🙂 Great topic, Amy!
And look at it from my point of view, that of a stay at home mom. I’m in jeans, t-shirts, and no makeup, most days. Because that’s my uniform–I chase after a two year old all day. But when I actually make the effort to dress slightly nicer (tunic and leggings, casual dress, etc.), it gets noticed.
Whereas, most of the moms in line at preschool drop-off are in total workout clothes, because as soon as their kid is safe at school, they’re off to the gym. And the whole world knows it. =)
Hi, wrote my own post in response..thank you!
http://yourmindinbloom.wordpress.com/2013/11/01/clothes-make-the-man-or-the-woman/
Amy, the funny thing is that I went to the ballet tonight! I wore a black velvet top and skirt that I had bought ages ago, with black leather boots and a black leather purse (Stuart Weitzman boots and Stone Mountain purse, both bought in a thrift store for about $10). It was very Lady Code. I’m so fascinated by the language of appearance that I’m tempted to write more about it. I think of it as learned performance . . .
Amy,
As a guy my code is usually “Oh! A clean hoodie! Cool!”
But as an aside, I’m going to be paneling at Orycon next weekend and I will definitely be coding my clothing. My black sport coat is designed to convey that I’m a professional and should be taken seriously. My designer label denim pants are designed to make me seem accessible, but still show that I’m not just winging it haphazardly. I’ll wear my black slip-ons instead of my black tennis shoes to raise the level of formality of the proceedings. Lastly I will be wearing a high-quality branded T-shirt as a means of extending my personality to the audience. This could be “Duran Duran’s Red Carpet Massacre”, a BSG “What The Frak?” t-shirt, or possibly a U2 concert shirt. These things speak about stuff I enjoy and are designed to be conversation starters and make me more approachable.
So yes, clothing is coding, and these are things I think about from a professional level at a minimum.
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