I’d been wanting to write that post on forgiveness I published last week for a long time. But I kept punting it for other ideas because I was afraid to write about it. I was convinced the ENTIRE WORLD would disagree with me and be horribly upset that I didn’t think of forgiveness as something that can be forced, and somehow this would be an awful thing for me.
The longer I write for this blog, though, the more I realize that really, the world doesn’t care. Most people will never read my essay on forgiveness. And most of the people who did read my essay recognized something in it that resonated with them. So when I think the entire world will disagree, that is some bizarre thought process I am better off ignoring.
My friend Ferrett wrote some excellent blogging advice, where one of his main points was: “No, Seriously. Haters Are Going to Hate.” As a blogger or someone who is interested in maintaining a public example, this will inevitably be an issue at some point. Ferrett says that once you become sufficiently popular, there will always be people who hate you, and he’s completely right. It is amazingly hard to be sufficiently wishy washy to keep everyone happy. I don’t even know if it’s possible, although I suspect it isn’t. There will always be people out there disagreeing loudly, people looking for an argument, or people wanting to tear other people down.
Photo Credit: HeyThereSpaceman. via Compfight cc
For example, it is always amazing to me how angry people have gotten over my essay about intelligent women. They are upset because they don’t think women can possibly be as intelligent as men (seriously, what century are we living in?) or because they don’t think smart women ever encounter anything I mention so therefore I must be old and bitter (because only old and bitter people can engage with ideas about sexism?) or because of course all intelligent people must make loads of money because that’s the way intelligence should be measured in our society (I guess most artists and academics are just pretty stupid since they don’t prioritize making large amounts of money). But what is more interesting to me than the actual arguments is the amount of anger expressed because there are different opinions in the world. Opinions, it seems, can be very scary things.
But as strange as it seems to me that people can get so worked up over my six hundred word essays, this doesn’t change the fact that the world is largely indifferent. And in fact, as a writer, if my words cause anyone to feel angry or scared or hopeful or inspired or any emotion at all, then that means I’ve done my job. In the grand scheme of things, obscurity is more an artist’s enemy than controversy, however safe the obscurity might feel and however challenging the controversy might be. (And of course, how challenging the controversy feels will vary wildly from person to person.)
I think part of becoming an artist is learning to be comfortable with controversy. Not because it is bound to be necessary, but because part of an artist’s job is to express their perception of the truth. And if you are afraid of what the world is going to think about your truth, then maybe you won’t dig as deep as you can and maybe you won’t take the risks you need to take and maybe you’ll choose the easy way instead of the raw way. Creating art is a commitment to your own vision of reality.
So I wrote that essay on forgiveness anyway, even though it scared me. I was scared to write The Academy of Forgetting. I’m about to start a new novel, and even though I’m excited about it, I occasionally feel sudden spasms of anxiety when I think about sitting down and typing “Chapter 1.” I feel a tightness in my stomach and a sudden strong desire to do anything else.
But I’m glad I feel the fear. It’s like a compass, letting me know I’m going the right direction. It means I’m not taking the easy way. It means I’m challenging myself, and my writing is better because of it.
The Practical Free Spirit 
There are days when I would welcome trolls because at least I’d know somebody was reading.
You are correct, though. Haters are gonna hate, so why give them any mind?
Also, “becoming an artist is learning to be comfortable with controversy” is quite true, for sure. And so is your last paragraph there.
Paul (paulliadis.com/blog)
“And in fact, as a writer, if my words cause anyone to feel angry or scared or hopeful or inspired or any emotion at all, then that means I’ve done my job.”
It seems to me ironic that the goal of an artist and a troll is the same thing: to get a reaction.
“I think part of becoming an artist is learning to be comfortable with controversy.”
Something I always try to remember is that if you create anything, for any reason then somewhere someone will criticize it no matter how perfect it might be.
Criticism does seem incredibly difficult to filter through sometimes. Is the criticism legitimate? If not, is it trolling or sincere? If it’s sincere, is it misguided? If it is misguided, is it possible to get through to the person and show them the error of their ways?
I think it can be immensely difficult to filter through criticism. Because some criticism can be such a learning experience, whereas other times it is simply damaging. It does seem to be a distinction that is easier to make with practice, thank goodness.
As someone who has spent most of her life trying to be “sufficiently wishy washy” in order to fit in, I very much appreciate the honesty and courage in this post. I admire you, Amy, and I wish to be more like you.
Also, this line: “And in fact, as a writer, if my words cause anyone to feel angry or scared or hopeful or inspired or any emotion at all, then that means I’ve done my job” is awesome.
I was once watching a piano competition on PBS and I remember the winner saying, “Some people will hate you for the exact things other people love you for.”
That there is some wisdom. 🙂
I see where you’re coming from. I know that haters have one goal in mind, which is to upset you. Of course they can’t be happy when you’re happy.
Sent from my iPhone
something obscure but something somewhat fitting…..
Thought is deeper than all speech,
Feeling deeper than all thought:
Souls to souls can never teach
What unto themselves was taught.
Thought,(Gnosis). Stanza 1 (Christopher Pearse Cranch)
Best wishes on your work.
Love this. Have read it a few times since you posted it. Thank you.
[…] On Trolls and Obscurity and Making Art […]
I left livejournal because the haters were so vitriolic. Even now, I rarely post anything about race or politics or feminism on my blog, especially because I have a lot of contrary ideas about how the world works that don’t fall into line with the politically correct status-quo that many of my liberal academic friends have been ingrained to accept without question. I think about people disagreeing with me and calling me names because I don’t have the “right” opinion, or because what I said might be offensive to someone and it just seems so disagreeable. But no one can change if no one is courageous enough to dissent. I think you are much braver than I am, and that I should use you as an example to live up to.
Ugh, I’m so sorry you’ve had negative experiences. I do think it’s important to evaluate your own energy too, and take care of yourself. Sometimes that means postponing a topic, or putting it on the back burner. It’s hard for me to strike a balance that feels exactly right. I’ve been thinking about this again lately….