1. It is not as common as it once was to spend your entire career working at one company, or even in one career. Therefore most of my parents’ career advice was completely useless.
2. Bodies are complicated, and often doctors don’t know what’s wrong. So sometimes you have to get creative and proactive in seeking out information, alternatives, and talented people who can help you.
3. A large number of acquaintances is not necessarily going to be as satisfying as a small number of people to whom you can reveal your true self.
4. If your significant other is not meeting one of your core needs and shows no inclination of doing so in the future, it is okay (even necessary) to break up with them.
5. So much of life boils down to communication. Unfortunately, many people are incredibly bad at it.
6. Thinking you might not be good enough is not a good enough reason to decide not to do something.
7. The people who are judgmental about your life choices are generally not the people you want to spend time with, anyway. And it’s impossible to make every person in the entire world like you.
8. Be on the lookout for those who are taking away your agency. The easiest way to have your choices taken away from you is if you never even realize you had a choice in the first place.
9. Fake it until you make it is a cheesy-sounding piece of advice that is actually true. Corollary: Your major is not as important as you think. (Except when it is.)
10. Be fanatical about taking care of your teeth, flossing, and visiting the dentist regularly. And use a mouth guard if there’s even a chance you’re grinding your teeth at night…the unsexiness of such a device be damned!
What do you know now that you wish you’d learned earlier?
The Practical Free Spirit 
These are excellent! I wish I’d known all of these myself ten years ago. I also wish I’d known I have more power than I thought I did. Maybe more than I think I do even now :).
That’s a good one! And yes, for me, probably more than I think now. But I’m working on it. 🙂
I wish I had known all of the things listed in the article before I was 18 yrs. old. Then I would have lived my life differently. I did learn these things later on and made many changes in my life. One thing that I would do differently is to develope a circle of friendships closer to me. I am now trying to do that at a late age in life. Thank you for the post. It appears to be about loving ones self and taking responsibilty of our own choices.
I knew ten years ago that the older I got the harder it would be physically to lose weight. I didn’t realize it would be just as hard to find the time to dedicate to losing weight and/or just maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Word. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is surprisingly hard! I used to think I could just decide, and hey presto! I’d be doing it. But, um, no. Not the way it works. 🙂
During my lifetime I have learned all of these life lessons with the exception of # 9, Fake it until you make it. That is the single most unrewarding thing anyone can possibly do in life…there is nothing honest or positive in living even 5 minutes of your life faking anything:).
I’ve found it to be helpful, but I think maybe part of the problem with it is that it is remarkably easy to mis-interpret, and therefore probably deserves to be re-worded for clarity.
I can say, though, that I would not have had the courage and sheer oomph! of spirit to do many of the things I’ve done without giving myself permission to fake it until I felt actually comfortable. So maybe a possible re-wording is: Push yourself outside of your comfort zone, and ignore all the reasons why you shouldn’t do something if you can think of enough compelling reasons telling you why you should.
Thoughts?
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“So much of life boils down to communication. Unfortunately, many people are incredibly bad at it.”
That’s one of the most important things everyone needs to realize.
“The people who are judgmental about your life choices are generally not the people you want to spend time with, anyway. And it’s impossible to make every person in the entire world like you.”
Just because you’re judgmental doesn’t mean you want to make everyone like you. I have alot of problems with the world and how alot of people live their lives, but I’ll be the first to admit I’m also a mediocre paragon.
But at age 30 I don’t think I’ve learned to be that much less judgmental than I was at 18; I’ve just learned how not to share most of those judgments.
Oh, my bad at the unclear wording there. I meant, it is impossible to make every person like you in the sense of “enjoy” you or “have a good opinion of” you or think you’re great and they want to be your best friend, not in the sense of making people the same as you.
I totally agree that being judgmental and wanting everyone to be just like you are not the same things at all…although now that I think about, I think maybe they’re sometimes related.
Ah, gotcha. I have at least one friend who needs to learn that not everyone can or should be friends.
10 years ago I was in college for the wrong reasons and with the wrong attitude, pursuing a degree that was wrong for me, and fundamentally less comfortable with everything: socially, with responsibility, with standing up for myself.
In high school ROTC (12-13 years ago) I was given a staff officer position and some responsibility, with the unstated goal of making me rise to the occasion and develop leadership; I was just sort of there. Later when I was working at the library (11 years ago?), I was asked to teach some basic computer classes, but found it incredibly uncomfortable despite being a “computer whiz”.
I’ve given 2 public presentations at the library this year: one on the Civil War and one on geocaching. Typical mild butterflies aside, I had no problem at all with either. The library program director was surprised I was so at ease. I’ll be doing more presentations in 2012. I’ve been coordinating with some local parks for geocaching permission and been involved with a big local geocaching event (and landed us a sponsor). I’m back to college working on a History degree.
What would I tell myself 10 years ago to accelerate the process? “Do what you care about and avoid the rest as much as possible”? Is that valid advice? By that logic, I might never was the dishes.
I think the biggest thing might be simply having a boss for the last 5 years who has given me responsibility and given me honest and meaningful feedback: praising a job well done and fairly critiquing mistakes. I don’t know if there’s advice in there I can send back in a time machine – it’s more like an experience that must be had.
I think this is a wonderful list. I, too, wish I had known these things twenty years ago!
[…] 10 Things I Wish I’d Known 10 Years Ago […]
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