Desperation.
Desperation rears its ugly head for most writers, often (although not exclusively) toward the beginning of a career. We want so badly to be published, to be chosen, to have public validation that we aren’t wasting our time. We want to get our words and stories to the public. We want to be able to tell our friends and acquaintances, “Why, yes, I have an agent now. And Big Publisher XYZ wants to buy my novel.” Or “Why, yes, my indie-published novel is on the Kindle Best-seller List now, thanks for asking.” We want to know that we’re moving forward with our craft and not staying stuck in a hellish holding pattern. We want we want we want.
Some amount of ambition and desire for success is healthy. It might keep us on a daily writing schedule or encourage us to continue sending out those queries. It might motivate us to improve our craft or take a workshop. But it’s so easy to cross from these helpful impulses into the dark side of desperation.
The danger of entering that desperate place is that our decision-making process becomes impaired. Instead of making practical, well-reasoned decisions, we’re suddenly willing to do almost anything to see our work in print. We’ll sign with an agent even though we either haven’t done thorough research on the agent’s history or have a bad feeling about the working relationship. We’ll sign a publishing contract even though it offers poor terms. We’ll rush into self-publishing our novel electronically without enlisting first readers and/or editors to help us make the book the best it can be. We’ll say something best left unsaid on the social media of our choice because we’re so stressed/insecure/jealous/upset that we just can’t help ourselves.
Acting from a place of desperation is the opposite of acting from empowerment. It doesn’t matter whether you’re dealing with a traditional publishing structure or taking the indie path. In either case, desperation will lead to poor decisions (unless you’re very, very lucky). Desperation will tempt you to devalue yourself and your work and believe me, you don’t want to go down that path.
So what is a poor writer to do? Stop. Breathe. Try to convince yourself that you’re not in a race and you don’t have to hurry to the detriment of everything else. Avoid comparing yourself to other writers who are doing everything better, faster, with more shiny. Avoid it like the plague. Postpone any big decisions until you can talk yourself into a calmer state of mind.
And remember you’re not alone. I think writer desperation is very common, but we don’t always talk about it. I am writing this to tell you that I have felt it, I have been there, and I might very well be there again. All of the doubt and the waiting and the anxiety and the rejection and the lack of understanding–it SUCKS. Of course we sometimes feel desperate. But we don’t have to give the desperation the power to take over our lives. We can feel it and then keep going, keep trying, keep believing in ourselves. And we can do our best to make our business decisions based on the facts and our priorities instead of on a crazy-making emotional state.
Does anyone else ever experience writer desperation? Have any good tips on how to avoid it or deal with it once it’s happening? Please share!
I think even the most successful writers out there have run into this.
These days the most hair-pulling seems to come from taking the self-publishing plunge. An awful lot of first-timers are seeing the big huge successes that can accompany the brass ring and think: “Wow, if SHE did it, then I can too!” http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/24/self-publisher-signs-four-book-deal-with-macmillan/
Thing is, a first-timer can get just as much success in the traditional vein: http://www.patrickrothfuss.com/content/index.asp
They’re not seeing the Luck factor or the Skill factor, and all too often, this can be the result: http://ereads.com/2011/03/greek-seaman-runs-aground-on-treacherous-typos.html
Desperation, in my opinion, comes from a lack of goals, discipline, or professionalism. Sometimes from a combination.
Information helps. A writer must learn their craft to be a professional. A writer must know their goals and set realistic expectations. Most importantly, a writer must have the discipline to write.
Is the goal to self-publish? Then be aware of what’s involved. The cover, editing, and polish are entirely on your head. The promotion is entirely yours as well. You stand to gain more per sale than you will with a traditional publisher, but you stand to lose the same. With the risk comes reward.
Is the goal to traditionally publish? Then be aware of the facts. You will do much of the promotion yourself. You will not make much on the advance. But! If your book shows the slightest promise, you’ll get access to the Big Media machine, and all the publicity that goes with it. You will earn the respect that goes with the traditional mantle.
In short: Learn. Set goals. Sit down and write. It is NOT easy, but it’s the life we’ve chosen.
Wow, Eric. I’m so glad you commented. Thanks for going into detail. I agree with pretty much all that you say here.
This post certainly resonates with me. I had to fight off a bout of writer desperation not too long ago. You have to get grounded. Take some deep breaths, even smack yourself a few times if necessary. Then accept where you are. Accomplishing your goals is a process that will take time. Put your attention on what you can do right now. Don’t think too far ahead and don’t focus on what others are doing. These are surefire ways to throw you off your game. Find personal ways to track your progress. Celebrate little successes. Have fun. Works for me. 😉
Good advice about not thinking too far ahead! That’s a trap I often fall into.
And I love celebrating little successes! Definitely keeps my mood up. 🙂
Yes! I’ve experienced it and it sucked. At times I still do. When I decided that I’ll concentrate on writing while dreaming about getting published when I wasn’t writing, it seemed to remove my desperation.
The psychological tricks we have to play! 🙂
Whatever works! No one would be able to tell what we’re thinking. 🙂
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