I am tired and irritable, so let’s grab hold of a silver lining and use this as an opportunity to talk about strategies for recharging, shall we? Because they are certainly on my mind right now as I try to implement them.
I first noticed I felt socially tired around the end of March, ie when I was in the middle of moving. Not a huge shocker. I thought it would pass once I’d completed the move and had some time to relax. But while it held relatively steady for a while, it also wasn’t dissipating. And then instead it began to build.
I noticed I was feeling more stressed about common occurrences in my life, like scheduling and driving. Soon thereafter, I also noticed I was just generally more irritable. Doing things that are challenging for me in the best of times, like setting boundaries, saying no, and handling lots of last-minute changes became ridiculously hard. My tolerance for receiving repeated unasked-for advice and not being listened to–hot buttons for me in the best of times–fell even lower than usual.
And then I attended the Nebula Awards Weekend. I knew I was in a danger zone, so I was very careful to take plenty of time for myself, and I have to say, everyone I interacted with was lovely. I am so grateful for the respect and kindness with which my colleagues treat me. The weekend was in some ways like taking a nice warm bath of social goodness.
But I entered this week still feeling irritable, with an added side of exhaustion. And since I’m ahead of schedule on Beast Girl, I figured I could take a little extra time to recover from my social burn-out. Here’s what I’m trying:
1. No scheduled social events for several days in a row. (Well, except for one hour-long family thing that was important and already scheduled.) So far this has been BLISS. I’m finally getting a chance to really rest.
2. Avoiding particular stressors. I’m deliberately driving less and have even taken some days during which I don’t have to drive AT ALL. I’m not scheduling things for the future, either. I figure most things can wait a week or two. Basically, whenever I feel stressed about something, I ask myself, “Is this important right now?” If it’s not, I postpone it.
3. Being gentle with myself. I’m refusing to do most planning and decision-making type things. Of course, this doesn’t mean people have stopped asking me to plan and make decisions. Also, I’m still irritable, which means the occasional spasm of irritability reaches the outside world. Castigating myself for not being as perfect as I want to be isn’t going to help the situation though, so I’m trying my best to be kind to myself instead.
4. Making music. I love singing and playing the piano, and I haven’t been doing much of either lately. That has changed this week, as I’m learning two fabulous Moonface songs and getting slowly back into practice. I love the physicality of singing and playing and how it brings me back into my body.
5. Reading. Because there aren’t very many activities more soothing to an over-socialized psyche.
6. Taking hot baths. Except for this.
7. Watching educational videos. Because feeding my brain makes me happy.
8. Spending time with Nala. Because unconditional love makes me happy, and watching Nala blissfully flop around the house reminds me of what it means to be relaxed.
Nala looks pretty relaxed.
9. Being grateful. I’m so glad I can take this space, and it gives me time to think about all the people and activities in my life that I love.
What do you do to recharge? How do you know when you need a social vacation?
The Practical Free Spirit 
Sleep! I often find this cures a multitude of evils. Definitely avoid as much social interaction as possible since I have the same hot buttons and this is the easiest way not to have anyone pushing them. Family is tougher, for that I usually go with telling my husband what mental state I am in. From there I sometimes ask for a hug- a good one (at least 30 econds) goes a long way in releasing happy hormones. It also serves as a warning for him to steer clear of me for a bit, giving me some space and time to recharge. I loved number 7 and your reason!!!! Similar to number 4 I would go with some type if artistic expression. I am not much for creating music, but listening to particular types can be very stress releaving. For over-socialized types of irritability anything heavy on logic and light on emotions works well for me, like Sudoku for example.
Because my daily expectations for myself are so codified in my spreadsheet. It’s very easy for me to either relax those daily goals or to just say, “I am going to let this slide today (or this week)”
I’m not sure that this improves my mood (I think those tend to naturally change over time). But it does make bad moods easier to hear.
Oh yeah. And I Agee with the guy above. Sleeping more and better is, for me, a key element.
I have scheduled down time, and it’s really done wonders for me. My life is a bit odd lately, and knowing that I have a 4-6 hour chunk on some weekend nights is both relaxing and something I look forward to.
Also, since having a kid, I find I can take back control of my home and my sanity through cleaning – nothing makes me happier and gives me a clean, clear space to recharge than having an uncluttered, not-messy house.
Ditto sleep, and remembering that I can say ‘no’ when I’m starting to burn out. Gardening helps, especially if I garden while listening to an audiobook.
I think your level of awareness is in itself a lovely and unique thing 🙂 I hope your recharge efforts work!
After a weekend like our last, I have to retract a bit from the world.
Rest is good, but sometimes the overstimulated brain keeps me up, so what I have found works best for me is riding my motorcycle. I can’t think about anything but the ride, which allows me to disengage those parts of the brain that frequently needle me with, “Did I say something really offensive or stupid?”
“I am such a douche.”
“Nobody loves me. Why should they?”
And then, sometimes, I blog about it:
http://therantinggriffin.blogspot.com/2010/11/circles-of-social-nature.html