Now that I’m back home from ConFusion, and after talking a bit about impostor syndrome, a few of you might be wondering how my panels went.
Short answer: I had a great time!
Longer answer: Once I was at the convention, any nerves I had melted magically away. I had been afraid I’d be that panelist who sits there silently while everyone else talks, but that didn’t happen. I always had a lot to say, and most of the panels went by very quickly. Plus I had the great fortune to share the panels with a lot of intelligent and well-spoken people, talking about subjects that I am very interested in.
My favorite panel was “What Does Rejection Mean?” Not surprisingly, I can talk about the psychology of being a writer (or more generally, being an artist) all day long, and I also really liked what my fellow panelists had to say. I moderated three of the five panels, having only prepped to moderate one of them. I’m a planner so the idea of moderating on the fly is one that filled me with a certain horror, but as it turned out, I was able to improvise without too much difficulty.
I decided a couple of months ago to set myself a few goals that I could have confidence in my ability to complete while definitely still stretching myself. So many of my goals are long in duration, very challenging, and involve a lot of me stumbling around and making mistakes. This is necessary; I am ambitious. But sometimes it’s good to balance all the striving with achievement I know I can reach quickly if I commit myself to it. Participating on these panels at ConFusion was one of those short-term achievable goals, and it was a welcome change to try something that made me nervous but that I knew I had the skills to do. (I have another of these goals coming up in a few weeks, so more about that soon!)
More generally, I always have a great time at ConFusion, and this year was no exception. I was struck by how much value I receive when I have the opportunity to spend time with my fellow writers, whether they’re just starting out, have been around a few years like I have, or are at more advanced stages of their careers.
I’d been feeling a bit bummed out ever since my last novel fell apart, operating under a cloud of discouragement. I didn’t let this feeling stop me from planning my next novel project or continuing to query agents, but it’s been there, and it hasn’t been pleasant. For lack of a better way to describe it, I haven’t been feeling writerly. ConFusion reminded me of who I am and what I’m trying to accomplish, and talking to other writers about our projects and our processes has given me a renewed sense of focus.
More generally, I’ve been thinking of how important my writer community is to me. As a consequence, I’m bumping a Seattle visit up the priority list this year and considering the possibility of scheduling some Skype writer dates. Too much creative isolation does not a happy Amy make.
All in all, it was a very successful and productive weekend.
Glad you had fun, Amy! I really need to get to ConFusion one of these days. I hear so many great things about it.
Oh, I hope you come some year soon! I really recommend the con.
Really happy you had such a good time, Amy! You’re one of the many people I can’t wait to see there every year.
I think cons, and ConFusion in particular, first alerted me to the idea that I was actually an extrovert, despite a childhood awash in reading. (Mostly for lack of options and/or social anxiety, I realize now.) It wasn’t just the talk of projects and process that got me fired up, it was being around so many cool and fun and interesting people for an entire weekend.
That said, let me know when you do start the Skype thing, I’m pretty available, later in the day, for writing hangouts.
Oh, being around such interesting people is definitely part of the draw for me too. I love learning, and I love being around people from whom I learn. 🙂
Will keep you in the loop about Skype. Will be after I recover my energy from the con, ha!
I am very pleased you got to have such a nice time. I love the way you pick yourself up after a setback or discouragement. You should be proud of yourself
Thank you so much. That is very kind. 🙂
[…] I talked about being on the panels at ConFusion, I mentioned I had another challenge coming up. And now it’s almost […]