The Practical Free Spirit

I am tired of apologizing.

Expressing empathy and sympathy? I’m all over that. But I’ve spent way too much of my energy apologizing for things that have nothing to do with me.

And you know what? I’m not sorry.

• I’m not sorry that I may have different priorities than other people .
• I’m not sorry that I have things I want and things I need.
• I’m not sorry that I want to be treated with respect and consideration.
• I’m not sorry for the life choices I’ve made, even if people don’t agree with them or understand them.
• I’m not sorry that I don’t want to discuss my financial situation with strangers.
• I’m not sorry that I have a different sleep schedule from the norm.
• I’m not sorry that the ways in which I spend my time are not obvious.
• I’m not sorry that I notice and sometimes point out sexism and misogyny in media.
• I’m not sorry for my own opinion and assessment of myself.
• I’m not sorry when I choose to say no.
• I’m not sorry that I can’t be perfect.
• I’m not sorry when I refuse to take on other people’s issues willy nilly.
• I’m not sorry for the existence of my emotions.
• I’m not sorry for standing up for myself.
• I’m not sorry for communicating.
• I’m not sorry for being complicated.
• I’m not sorry that we don’t have every single thing about ourselves in common.
• I’m not sorry when people won’t take care of themselves. I feel sad about it, because I know how bad that feels, but I am not responsible for the choices they make and the pain they put themselves through.

This is what it looks like to not be a people pleaser. You start apologizing a lot less frequently. Instead you communicate, and you compromise, and you take responsibility for yourself and your actions, and you surround yourself with people who are willing and able to take responsibility for themselves and their actions, and when you screw up on occasion, you apologize and make amends, and everything works out a whole lot better.

Stop apologizing for yourself. Start living instead.