In between these logistical reminders to myself, I’ve been thinking a lot about influence–specifically on the influence we have over other people. Some influence we take for granted; if I were to tell you that my husband and I are huge influences on each other, I doubt you would be surprised. But when I think back over my life so far, I can come up with a list of names of people who have had a strong impact on me. Not all of them are related to me. Not all of them did I ever get to know well. Not all of them am I still in touch with today.
Some of these people have no idea of the role they played in my life. They may not even remember me. They are like stealth actors who dropped in to teach me something I really needed to know or show me another way of living before moving on. Some of them even died before I was born.
This is useful to remember when contemplating creating a life that allows us to teach, influence, change the world, increase awareness. We never know who we might reach. We never know when we might say the exactly right thing that gives another person an “aha!” moment. Sometimes we won’t learn of our own impact until years after the fact, or perhaps not even then. Many times we’ll have accidental influence–we’ll have no idea that someone will have taken our casually spoken words to heart. We won’t realize that by hearing about our lives, someone else will decide to do things differently. We just can’t always know. But the not knowing doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
We all yield influence, whether we’re aware of it or not. So the question becomes not if, but rather what we want our contribution to be. And since we can’t always be aware of it when it’s happening, an even bigger question is this: how do we live our own lives in such a way that we can maximize our positive influence? I don’t know if I have a complete answer to that question yet, but it’s something I plan to think about in the upcoming weeks.
In the meantime, I feel a deep sense of gratitude to the people on my list, both because of what they taught me and because they’ve helped me realize how important every individual can be.
The Practical Free Spirit 
Thanks Amy! Oh so true.
Actions and words today can be like tiny ripples in a pond that lead to waves of discernment down the road. We touch people, and they touch us. Sometimes the effect is a good one, sometimes not. Like you, I’d like to focus more on having a positive effect on everyone around me. 🙂
Nice description! Of course sometimes, since we can’t know where the ripples go, we can’t avoid negative impact. Sometimes we can’t even avoid it when we *do* know. Even so, I still like to keep positive goals in mind.
I like the way you phrased that… “But the not knowing doesn’t mean it’s not happening…” Really, we often will never know what might have made a difference to another… I made a “page” with a quote from Helen Keller…to remind and inspire myself using that idea … http://pocketperspectives.wordpress.com/2011/07/29/i-am-only-one-but-still-i-am-one-2/ ..I keep it taped up on the walls and windows in my home and classroom…. Thank you for your special post..
Oh, I love that quotation and graphic! What a great thing to keep around you as a reminder.
It’s true. Also, be careful with what you say. We don’t know if the insult/criticism/joke that comes out of our mouths would spark people to perform rash actions. Maybe it’s also the final nail in their self-esteem coffin (or even the literal one).
It’s true. Of course we’re only human so mistakes happen no matter how careful we are. But I really appreciate those who are making effort to be thoughtful.
[…] whatever she damn well pleases, and does so with intelligence and confidence. In her recent post, Accidental Influence, Amy contemplates the influence we have on each other, whether we’re aware of the impact or […]
Amy!! 🙂 I gave you a blog award at the Parking Lot Confessional. You can pick it up here:
http://parkinglotconfessional.com/2011/08/10/the-2011-validation-tickets-part-ii-of-iii/
❤
Yay! Will be saying more about this next week. 🙂