Photo by Werner Kunz
This statement caused me to begin questioning the culture of consumerism and my own relationship with the materialistic world. If questioned, I would have answered the exact opposite of my friend, that I prefer to spend money on experiences because those experiences will make me happier and more engaged in my life as a whole. There’s even research supporting my viewpoint.
But it’s not that simple, is it? I like material things as well as anyone else. My husband and I own a house, and we just purchased a new car since my old one (a ‘95 Corolla) has become finicky in its old age. Plus I have my three consumer weaknesses: books, sheet music, and clothes & jewelry. Hence the main storage problems in my house are bookshelf space and closet space.
I remember when I was starting my studio business, and I had to strictly prioritize my budget to make my earnings stretch. I allowed myself to buy sheet music (within reason) because I used it in my business. I only bought books on special occasions (thank goodness for libraries), and pretty much only mass market paperbacks even then. I did go clothes shopping, but I was careful to visit stores like Mervyn’s, Target, and Ross, where my money would go a lot farther.
In return for this thrift, I allowed myself experiences that I desperately wanted. I always allowed myself gas money if I wanted to drive somewhere to visit friends or enjoy a particular sight. I’d occasionally splurge on a dinner out with friends. And I’d save everything else for my annual trip abroad—the experience of travel and seeing other cultures was my highest priority. Sometimes I wished I could buy “pretty” things, but more often I worried about unexpected medical expenses taking away my travel budget. Experience trumped all.
One year, however, after I had received some gift money, I splurged and bought the complete set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs. I was so excited about this purchase, and I don’t even know how many times I’ve watched those DVDs—over and over, and I’m sure I’ll be watching them many more times in the future. So I understand what my friend meant about material objects giving lasting pleasure. What about a good piano? Does that count as a material object or do we purchase what a piano represents: the experience of making music? And driving in an expensive car (like my friend wants) is a completely different experience than driving my rattling old Corolla.
I wonder how often when we’re spending money on something material, what we’re really buying is the experience the object represents. I think I’d personally still prioritize straight-up experience expenses over more object-oriented ones: a night at the theater, a delicious meal, being able to spend time with non-local friends, traveling around the world. But perhaps my friend and I aren’t so different in our thought processes after all.
In which case, here’s the lesson I’m taking away from this: if I am making a purchase, I will try to remember to stop and consider what experience a given object represents, and then decide whether it is an experience that I truly want and that the object will actually deliver.
Objects are never going to be what makes me the happiest, however. My husband, my dog, my friends, intellectual stimulation and challenge, music and stories—these are the most important to me.
Which do you prefer—spending money on experiences or physical objects? Care to share a particularly memorable experience or purchase? I’m all ears.
The Practical Free Spirit 
Nice I like it 🙂
Thanks!
“I wonder how often when we’re spending money on something material, what we’re really buying is the experience the object represents.”
I can’t remember who originally said it, but Warren Zevon quoted it in a documentary VH1 made on his final days. Something like, “When we buy books, what we really think we’re buying is the time to read them.”
I love that. It explains my book hoarding.
For me, I’ve finally learned that experiences, and usually ones I don’t spend money on, are what I enjoy most. That may sound naive and twee, but this 52 yr old finds it true.
It’s true. One of my favorite times is weekend mornings, when my husband sleep in, eat breakfast together, and take our dog to the park. Except for the breakfast ingredients, completely free. 🙂
That DVD splurge is one I also made, and it has paid for itself tenfold just recently.
I have a friend who is really actually young enough to be my daughter *sob* and had never seen the BtVS or Angel series. I decided she needed to be educated, and we’re already on the third disc of season three of Buffy.
It’s priceless to watch her watch these treasured episodes for the first time. Not only do I get to enjoy them all over again, I get her perspective and it’s almost like watching them for the first time again.
It’s actually pretty inspiring.
Oh, that must be so much fun! I’ve never gotten to introduce the series to anybody. But I love to talk about it with people–we all have such strong opinions about it!
Interesting post. At first blush, I would agree that experiences are better to spend money on than objects/possessions. But you make a good point about objects that facilitate experiences. Your friend saving up to buy a car is a great example; that car will allow him to have (presumably) pleasurable experiences, increasing his happiness. So, I guess I’d think of it in these terms: for every person there are objects that will provide experiences that will provide happiness. Those are going to vary from person to person, of course, (for instance, *not* having a car brings me happiness!) but I like the idea of considering material purchases in terms of: “what happy experiences will I get from this object, and how long/often is that likely to last/occur?”
Yes. In the article I linked to, it says that people often get bored with objects after a relatively short while. But we don’t get bored of *all* objects; the trick is figuring out which ones will retain their specialness. Perhaps the experience aspect is part of that equation.
Nicely put. It’s always hard to separate the object from the experience of owning it.
I too am a book collector, and i like having nice cars to drive. At the extreme end of what some people would consider “materialism”, over the last few years, I’ve become a bit of a clothes horse. I like the experience of feeling put together and looking good. To support this, I need a wardrobe. But when I’m shopping, I ask myself “how often will I wear this item? How good does it *really* look?” In other words, how well does it contribute to the experience I’m looking for? A thing that never makes it out of the closet/garage/bookshelf doesn’t support an experience, unless all you wanted was to be able to look at it and bask in owning it. (And maybe that’s ok too! Maybe owning art objects is your thing, so you can sit in your living room and contemplate your Rodin replica.)
Experiences are special, perhaps because they come around only once, but I don’t think one should discount the day-to-day joys of driving a nice car that runs well, wearing clothes that fit, flatter, and are comfy, or curling up with a good book we’ve read a dozen times. Life happens in the interstitials, not the showy events, and small joys add up.
I think I need to be slightly more careful than I am on the clothes shopping front. 🙂
You bring up an interesting point, too, about the “only once” aspect of experiences. Many experiences (for instance, travel or seeing a play) are like that. But what about common repetitive experiences? Sometimes well-loved routines can be the biggest mood-boosters of all.
[…] You Happy Then You Probably Aren’t Spending It Right.” Since I recently visited the topic of the connection between money and happiness here on this blog, I simply had to devour the entire article. It is, however, quite long, so I am […]
A fascinating discussion! I’m all about experiences and making memories.