Looking at the title of my blog, I began to wonder what a free spirit is, exactly. I know the stereotype in the movies: Summer from (500) Days of Summer, or Sharon Stone’s character in The Muse, or Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I’m not really like any of those women though, so there’s got to be more to it, right? (Also, what about the free spirit men? Why can’t I think of any movies about them? Help me out in the comments, please.)
I turned to the internets to help me out. Apparently, a free spirit is someone who is not restrained, for instance by convention or obligation. Or it’s someone who has a highly individual or unique attitude, lifestyle, or imagination. Or it’s someone acting freely or even irresponsibly (I guess that’s where the practical part of my blog title comes in?) All the definitions agree on one synonym to describe a free spirit: nonconformist.
Oh, right. Thank you, dictionaries everywhere, for reminding me what I’m talking about.
Here’s my definition of what it means to be a free spirit:
- A free spirit thinks for himself, observing and collecting data in order to form his own opinions.
- A free spirit does what she thinks is right, not what everyone else tells her is right. She puts a high value on free choice.
- A free spirit cares about getting to know both himself and the world around him.
- A free spirit isn’t generally swayed by arguments of what one is “supposed” to do. She tends to avoid, ignore, or become upset by people who are judgmental or controlling.
- A free spirit has the courage to test life’s boundaries and limits, and to try things that other people think are impossible, unimportant, or impractical. (These other people are often wrong.)
- A free spirit often has her own unique vision of life and the world.
This does not mean a free spirit is a trampler, i.e. the kind of person who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. Nor are all free spirits incapable of compromise and discussion. They aren’t inherently flighty or irresponsible or train wrecks on wheels. Free spirits can be any of these things, just like everyone else, but they don’t have to be.
I also suspect there are those to whom free spiritedness comes easy, and those for whom it’s very difficult. Or maybe there are just people like me who swing back and forth between the ease and the struggle. There are noisy free spirits and quiet free spirits, extroverts and introverts and ambiverts, free spirits who engage in risqué behavior and those who think risqué is passé and so go to the other extreme. (Ask me sometime why my ears aren’t pierced and you’ll see what I mean.) Some of us are stubborn while others are fickle, some of us are dedicated while others drift from thing to thing. We can be challenging, yes, and difficult to understand, but we love life with a passion that makes it all seem worthwhile.
Whatever our shortcomings, we make the world a more varied and interesting place. We are agents of change and opponents of inertia. As Arthur O’Shaughnessy, a 19th century British poet, said:
We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
I could not have said it better myself. * heart squish *
Thanks, Jodi!
ive been checking out english artist michael fitzgerald at saatchi online
very interesting take on the subject
I must hear the story on the lack of ear piercing! It is interesting, isn’t it, how many times those with outward symbols of nonconformity (dyed hair, tattoos, piercings) are sometimes the most conventional people of all. As for male free spirits in films, I, too, drew a blank. I think you’re onto something.
Perhaps this is the paradox of being a nonconformist: that at some point behaviors associated with it will be just like all the other nonconformists out there, and therefore not nonconformist at all.
Hmm. I have to think about that.
Male free spirits? Character-wise?
Hmm.
Jack Sparrow in the Pirates moveis.
Doctor Who
Wash on Firefly
Wolverine
Westley from Princess Bride
Hiro from Heroes (whose free spirit is crushed as the show evolves)
Guess you can tell what sort of movies/tv I enjoy.
You are my hero, Eric. Thank you. I’m not sure I completely agree with all of those, but some of them are 100% dead on for me.
And you kickstarted my own brain. Here are a few I thought of:
Lloyd in Say Anything (actually I think John Cusack has played lots of free spirits over the years)
Oz on Buffy
George Faure (the love interest) in Green Card
This has also got me thinking as to whether there’s a difference between a free spirit/nonconformist and a rebel, and if so, what it is. I think there is a difference but I wonder if I’m right.
A rebel might be more dedicated to a specific code. Dirty Harry is a rebel, but he’s NOT a free spirit.
I suppose free spirits tend to be more positive and upbeat.
In that regard, I’ll probably have to retract my Wolverine comment. He was really on the edge for me to begin with anyway.
Loved this blog. I can most certainly relate.
Cheers!
Thanks, Casey! I’m glad you enjoyed.
Burt in Away We Go. YUP!
I came across your blog as I was trying to find the definition of Free Spirit. Your blog I believe truly captures the essence of a Free Spirit. I related well to it!
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) from the Titanic was definetly a free spirit
Into the Wild – Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch) – there you have a free spirit male character! And he was great!
I was told my someone that i am too much of a ”free spirit person” thought i should look it up
I was told I was a free spirit
Also been told I am an oddball, think out of the box, funny, an interesting take on life, independent, no one can get on with you,
If Jack in Titanic was a free spirit then he was worth being like
and certainly not mundane, boring and predictable
and perhaps that has inspired people
I think I may be a free spirit. Feel free to drop me an email if you’re wondering what/how a free spirited man thinks. I could never put it into a paragraph but there are pros and cons: you’re free yet lost. I seek being lost because I know that it’s there where I’ll know that I can have/share an opinion and know what I can always fall back on. How can the thought of falling back on the knowlege of being lost give me peace? Because one can take pride in knowing they’re lost. Like the saying goes, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” Socrates
Thanks for posting this positive and informative article about free spirits. Surprisingly there’s a lot of negativity about people like myself and at time it made me feel ashamed despite it being something I should truly embrace and celebrate. Thank you!
I’m very much of a free spirit, i’ve been told this and many of my friends dont understand exactly what a free spirit is, i’m totally sending this to them.
Being a free spirit defines me. Any other label doesn’t do me justice. In fact, I hate labels. I love the act of embrace (in self and in life), I love the act of caution, I love the act of throwing caution to the wind, I love loving, I love adventure, I love boredom, I love the people in my life, I love my cat Willow, I love ideas, I love myself, I love the unknown, I love my tears, I love my happiness, I love my trepidations, I love overcoming, I love being free, I love vibrancy…but most of all, I love other free spirits and showing others how to be one.
[...] highest traffic month in the blog’s life was April 2012. The most popular post is What is a Free Spirit?, which is apparently more of a pressing question than I would think. (Thank you, Google Search.) [...]
A very accurate description, very nicely put. I hadn’t exclaimed I was a free spirit but after being called one, I looked it up.
Sure enough I embody all the qualities you have described.
may I add the negativity towards a free spirit that one person mentioned and had witnessed is due to it not being bad in itself but that free spirits infuriate controlling people. Like you mentioned a free spirit dislikes being controlled so they pose a problem to a controlling person and can evoke jelousy. I say this from experience,
Interesting point of view. I’m inclined to agree with almost all the views presented.
I consider myself a free-spirit. The basis of the person I am is one is always free and has a choice to be who they are without fear of anything. There are many social rules we have to abide by however a free spirit acknowledges them but still choose to interpret them so that they don’t constrain them.
I have been intrigued even by my mortal self. I’m stylish but I choose not to be a prisoner of fashion for me it is the best way to express my persona and personality. I’m spiritual however I find the group therapy of church constraining as people interpret the bible readings to fit personal agendas that sometimes feels judgemental to make others feel guilty about their individualism. Imagine a world where a temple of God was in our hearts.
I can go on and on, about a free spirit. In a nutshell free spiritness is a choice premised on one’s ability to detach from outcomes and to live life without fear. This is done with compassion, understanding and love for fellow man.
Hi Rocks
I most enjoyed your sland on what you consider a free spirit to be.
My intrigue led me to this site.
I needed to know what defined a free spirit, and I am delighted that I have had the chance to read your writings.
I could write volumes with regards to how mixed up and how misunderstood I have felt all my life because of being a free spirit.
I have constantly had to do battle with feelings of constraint within a relationship, especially when I had 2 children to consider. At times the feeling of being, like a bird in a cage would became very overwhelming.
I have had 2 relationships that both lasted twelve and a half years.
I have now been single for 14 years
I would love to be in a loving relationship.
Maybe someone could give me thoughts on how other free spirits handle the relationship aspect.
I will add to my ramblings in my personal diary and not bore others with my revelations.
Cheers Megz.
Ha…your story resembles mine [in principle] Gail. Yep, gone through 2 relationship in 2 decades plus with one kid. Worked in many types of businesses but never made a career of it. Travels the world quite a bit but not yet wonderlust. Loves vernacularity dislike modernity if it’s done in a bad taste [ie. in 'squares' n inbox where it should be nonsquare n unboxed], homogeneity instead of diversity. I love what people describe here about the ‘free-spirited’ person seemed to be very me
JackSparrow is definitely free-spirited. Thanks Amy for writing up this topic.
ivan
http://www.tanikota.blogspot.com
PS: I googled ‘free-spirited’ person cause a friend told me I am one and arrived at your blog.
My two cents on having a romantic relationship as a free spirit: Figure out how you want to live and what you want from a relationship. Then communicate this from the start of a relationship (and set firm boundaries around it). Meet a lot of people until you find one who is happy having a similar kind of relationship to the one you want and accepts you for who you are.
Easier said than done, though!
Thanks Amy
First of all thank you for opening this site and bringing your thoughts to the fore.
With your help and my acceptance of who I am I have been able to formulate the plan for my life.
Should Lady Densiny place Mr Right in my path I will reconise him from my learnings,
I know what I want and what I need for me
I have waited 58 years and now that I know I am a free spirit I am sure he will be mature enough to undesrtand that we are all wired differently.
I so want to love and be loved.
Thanks
commenting a bit late but whatever…
i agree with
Jack Sparrow
Doctor Who
Westley from Princess Bride
being free spirited males and i also think that jack in titanic and rose for that matter are free spirited and the character will in the movie ‘waiting for forever’
dana, pushy and majority of the other characters in blue crush 2.
and maybe not a character but from what i know, marilyn monroe seems like a free spirit
Bingo! This is exactly how I would describe myself. Not one detail is wrong. Beautiful piece, free spirited people are just the sort of person who chose not to follow the “rat race” I suppose. I see life as short and a chance to create something, not work for something already created. I cop the negative souls out there who love to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about, and that I need to do this that and the other or I won’t succeed. They only think this because to them they only have one formula for life which would suck the life and soul out me. I never liked maths lol so I won’t be following any formula in my life. Being a free spirit is crazy to them because they are just terrified of being unique and the subject of criticism. I couldn’t care less what the haters think, Coco Chanel once said “success is often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable” which is so true. To the dreamers of dreams out there failure isn’t in our vocab its merely a change of direction.
Im glad to see a page full of people who are similar to me, you feel like a odd ball when mostly everyone else “think” the same……like stereotypes.
thanx… though it is still very hard for me to be totally free… for some or other reason im overlly concerned with public opinion about me… i sometimes feel that public opinion is dictating my life for me… however i am making small stridres daily in expressing my individuality… even if its just wearing my own taste of clothing… being male i often find that people are much more judgmental tomards me with regards to my apearance and way of thinking…
I’m a free spirit..in fact, I was looking for a free spirit group where I could hang around and spout off the wall things. Trait of being a free spirit in my humble opinion. My guess a free spirit is a person accepting of all cultures,races, situation’s and is able to freely/carelessly laugh at any mishaps one might encounter in life..My favorite saying is “If you feel embarrassed, you haven’t lived long enough yet”.
Free spirits make the best out of any situation or see the best *grin* but I’m really interested if most “free spirited people” are single. its all about having a healthy attitude to all and yourself.
[...] these other labels, is that there isn’t one way to do it. We talked a couple of years ago about Hollywood’s depictions of free spirits as spacy, often irresponsible, Bohemian, manic pixie dream girls. But allowing ourselves to fit [...]
I just started a relationship with a man who is getting in touch with himself. He used to be a banker and now is a teacher of children with special needs (if that tells you anything). He also is a painter and dabbles in music. He was bound by the limitations of his culture and traditions. He is currently in a marriage, with a very traditional wife and is realizing he is outgrowing her. We work together and he fell in love with my “free spiritness”. It was probably something that he yearned, but felt it was out of reach or for “other people”. Now after being with me, he is seeing possibilities. He has never strayed from his marriage of 19 years, but is entranced with me apparently. In the beginning I tried to do things that pleased him (I think being in love or caring so much, will make you do things out of character), but he constantly tells me to be myself, that is what he loves and so does everyone else. I guess that is why I am so crazy about him. He is a man that has very strict boundaries, very confident and so clear of what his mission is in his life, that my free spiritness is just to be appreciated and enjoyed and not an issue at all. He is a man that is very secure with himself and he knows that allowing to be me, is what keeps me by his side. I disagree that Free Spirits are looking for ‘door mats’. In fact it takes a VERY secure person to be with a Free Spirit. Some imply that Free Spirits just run off and do whatever they want. I say, I try to be true to my own heart, which includes taking care of people around me, looking for the positive in all things and being at peace with who I am.
janet, Very nicely written. Several years ago, I knew I felt different than the average person, but did’nt know what it was called…
If this were in person i would take you by the hand and thank you. Possibly since many of the descriptions above fit my personality, it is nice to know others exist out there like myself. : )
Hello, I like the way that Amy Sunberg defined and explained the phrase “free spirited”…..I believe its about personality traits, and has nothing to do with being a slot, in these modern days…
I’M A FREE SPIRIT….NO WAIT, IM JUST F***IN CRAZY!
Wonderful!!!
—–from one ‘free spirit’ to another.
Hi. I was curious about your direction to ask why your ears are not pierced.
I’m 37 and have also no piercing a or any kind of tattoo or body markings.
Was just curious since u mentioned
Ben
Male free spirits:
- Kramer from Seinfeld
- Noah from The Notebook, maybe?
- Aron Ralston (real person)
- James Franco (real person)
I LOVE IT! this is so me!
If something a free spirited person likes suddenly becomes so popular, he has a tendency to get turned-off with that thing… they hate ‘labels’
Male free spirits
- the guy from Before Sunset
- Mike Gambril of Love Affair
- the guy from Serendipity
Female free spirits
- the girl from Before Sunset
- Terry McKay of Love Affair
- the girl from Serendipity
- Elizabeth Bennett of Pride & Prejudice
Free spritited men movies:
Jeff Who Lives at Home
Ted- from How I met your Mother
Well said!
I’ve been wondering for years what free spirit means people call it me all the time. I asked a friend when I was in early twenties why people were so nasty to me because often people were and are still, she said they want to take something from you, they think by making you unhappy they will take it from you but they don’t understand what it is you have. I asked her what it was she thought I had but she couldn’t put her finger on it. I think this might be it. I think its very powerful when its genuine and people are scared of it. When you’re truly free spirited I think its hard for people to knock you down – and lots of people want to do that. Sad. I am extraordinarily happy being who I am. Amy I think your blog is excellent – one of the best things I have ever read – life changing. Thanks xxx
I, too, after being called a ‘free spirit’ through out my life by strangers and acquaintances finally googled the definition and was led here, at the age of 35. What a great site and how weird it is to know that the word embodies me to a T–however I wanted to add my two cents. Thank you, Amy, for putting this site up.
Like someone mentioned above, I also used to associate “free spirit” negatively– as someone who was a wandering vagabond with the following characteristics: lazy, unable to hold a job, low mental horsepower/focus, problems with boundaries and authority, zero ethos.
I understand the definition is pretty loose.
However, for me, I want to STRESS that being a free spirit also means I do NOT HURT OTHER PEOPLE. Thank you again for addressing this.
True Free Spirits do not trample other people in our pursuit of our own happiness. True free spirits are not reckless with other’s hearts; It’s not all about spontaneity and rebelliousness with no concern for consequences.
Free spirits are not selfish,cold or cruel. WE are more enlightened, more zen.
As a free spirit, not only do we bring warmth and light to others, we are also keenly aware of our ownership of our words and actions. We are conscientious and considerate of how our actions may affect others. Free spirits respect the individual. Our pursuit of happiness ends when it infringes upon someone else’s happiness. It’s very simple.
Perhaps it is a maturity issue, but I find it a sad excuse when a so-called ‘free spirit’ toys with and leads on another individual knowing they will disappear or cheat on them later on, casually tossing in the excuse that they are a free-spirit; A mind-f* for victims where only the selfish and cruel “free spirited”- poser walks away smiling.
Yes, a free spirit dislikes to be controlled or caged but getting into a relationship without full disclosure or not meaning what we say is low-brow and bad karma. These so-called free spirits expect others to just deal with the wreckage they leave in their wake due to their spontaneous, and “uncontrollable” proclivities.
To me, a true free spirit would have done enough “walk-abouts” and journeys through life alone to have given him plenty of time to reflect upon his place in the world and how his actions affect those around him.
All I know is I have always pursued things which make me happy. Life is an adventure, it is like formulating your own ‘perfect’ soup–adding only the things which taste good to you. I love to surround myself with beauty and happiness. There is no denying my love of the sun and the sky, the marvels of other living creatures and the simple pleasures in life. There is beauty to everything and the key is to see the silver-lining and make the best lemonade possible when all you have are lemons. But the other key is to respect all living things.
Thank you. Finally a piece of whats in our mind.
Hmm.. I just stumbled upon this — kind of floored that people are still writing, honestly.. but I had this conversation with a friend just yesterday. Recently, I had a ‘free spirit’, or so it is said, venture into life and create an explosion of light and warmth into my own world, as well as hers, yet only to fear herself into the idea of light shining as being too constraining and decided to proclaim free spiritedness and not make plans (due to this same proclamation), not live in the idea of the present warmth that is provided – only pointing onward wandering and wondering what else may be found in the wake of tomorrow… And, in essence, this claim of free spiritedness really only abided by the thought process in relationship situations, or in friendships, because, in my opinion, free spirited individuals are true to this feeling of ‘freedom’ on all levels – not only on the ones they decide are correct for them.. This may mean breaking free from the trust fund that lay beneath their feet, or the materialistic, monetary items that are so committed to appearing like a star on Rodeo Drive, or even taking the plunge into the world that lay beyond the whole worldly idea that you go to school, you get a job, you make a lot of money, and THEN, and only then, can you REALLY be free. In essence, the free spirits that I see these days, whether being called this by themselves, or by others, are really just irresponsible and scared individuals, unwilling to attach to anything real. They speak of their lack of ability to be brave, their lack of will to commit, their lack ability to break the chains that burden them the most — quite often being the ones that are only bound by their minds — and they do it while screaming free spiritedness.
Sasha, you provided me a breath of fresh mountain air into my lungs and brainwave, as these thoughts are exactly what I had tangled with in my own situation.
See — I’ve always been noted as a free spirit, a wanderer of sorts, one willing to seek out happiness in the far away distances and willing to leave the nest from a very early age. I suppose, all in all, my mind was always caught in the journey and the adventure of life and the world that lay beneath my feet – but, in all honesty, I was always captivated by the sheer beauty of the moment present and found no problem with this premise breaking down my free spirit and will for adventure. In my opinion, I have never found free spirited behavior to be compromising of responsibility — or of taking note of others feelings and emotions — it’s simply the will for adventure.. the will for the ‘onward and upward’ mentality, the will to create your own dreams that you only see when you open your eyes, not when you close them.. Maybe I’ve got it all wrong, but I’ve heard the self proclamation of ‘free spirit’ time and time again, and in truth, all I see is fear in the eyes of those who preach it. Afraid to break down and open up, rattled by the idea of actually connecting to something because it may ACTUALLY find me out. I’ve ventured — I went to school, I had a job offer in my hometown and instead of taking it, I decided my soul was taking me elsewhere and speaking to me and took the plunge into the great unknown to make way to the Rocky Mountains, instead, where the natural surroundings sparked my curiosity and eyes wide open behaviors of childhood and ‘pinch me to see if I’m dreaming’ thoughts crossed my path on a daily basis. Was it ‘responsible’? Not in the sense of monetary comfort in the world we live in, but was it courageous, bold, and brave? Surely.. But – really, in all, it was simply listening to my inner consciousness and not being scared away by my mind. It was a higher form of spiritual connection, really. One that allowed the great journey to go beyond the grasps of humanity and the ‘easy way out’. Bravery, in my opinion, is the TRUEST way to see whether or not free spirited behaviors are real. This means to attain the bravery to fall in love, to step alone, to go into the world that’s the great unknown and see only a blank canvas that you want to trudge around until you paint your masterpiece.. But — this doesn’t mean to never finding moments and loving them for what they are, all the while looking SO far ahead that you can’t even embrace the idea of crazy connections that you may have with an individual or a thing.. Does this really ‘bind’ you? Does this really hold you down? Or — does it open up a gate of opportunity to be a free spirit with a hand to hold while you venture onward, ready and willing to take on the world together?
I suppose, all in all, the conversation I had with a friend took forth the notion that free spirits, in my opinion, in their truest forms are the ones who lie within the ideas of the crazy and instead of think they’re insane – they embrace the beauty of them. They embrace the moments that they are within right then.. They embrace the ‘feel good’ things in one’s life, and don’t see it as constraining, but rather constructive — just because you’re a free spirit doesn’t mean you have to be alone… and it doesn’t mean you have to always trample others on your way… Desolation is a lonely road, and the world that we all travel in and the roads that we travel on are paved with potholes, missteps, and mistakes — but free spirits in my mind are the ones that truly find the beauty in the embrace, beauty in the crazy, and are the creators of their dreams in every which way. They don’t simply ignore any light due to the fear of connection or the fear that the light may one day fizzle out — they embrace it, they get caught in the moments, and truly live within them, so that they can carry this growth, on a personal level or life level, with them towards the next step — and if that next step happens to have a hand to hold, or another free spirit at your side, so be it..
Be captivated by the beauty of your own life, by the moments that pass, and the chances that you took… Be courageous, be bold, be eternally true to your spirit and your song that lies within your soul… To me, THAT, is what free spirits really contain — It doesn’t mean irresponsible, malicious, or willing to break down others.. It means to inspire, create, and lift others up..
That was very beautiful, but it is still just one person’s opinion…such as one self proclaimed ‘free spirit’ would probably say. To define a Free Spirit in so much detail, would even in fact take away the essence of free spirited-ness. I only have this to say…it takes a special person to be with a free spirit and I think free spirits can have very meaningful relationships…Even a free spirit has to touch the ground once in a while…
I drop a comment whenever I like a article on a website or I
I do have a couple of questions for
And, if you are writing on additional online sites, I’d like to
have something to valuable to contribute to the conversation.
It is triggered by the passion displayed in the article I read.
And on this article What is a Free Spirit? | The Practical Free Spirit.
I was excited enough to drop a thought
you if you don’t mind. Is it only me or does it appear like a few of these remarks look as if they are coming from brain dead visitors?
keep up with anything fresh you have to post. Could you make a list every one of all
your social pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?
To case interview prep: Wow…hostile.
There are stereotypes, unfortunately, involved with what free spirit is(at least in my mind). Usually when I think of someone who is what most people would term a free spirit I think of someone who is a bit on the hippyish side, maybe drives an electric car, listens to jam bands and is a vegan and quite possibly partakes in a certain substance. I know that’s a stereotype but many so called “free spirits” seem to have those interests imo(not all of course but that seems to be the inclination for many of them for whatever reason).
For another example of a female free spirit I would definitely say Phoebe(Lisa Kudrow’s character) from the tv show “friends.” I think she epitomizes the whole idea of a free spirit(even taking the idea to extremes even though of course she is a fictional character. I have known girls(well one comes to mind in particular)from college and she was a bit similar to Phoebe. Many of them are eccentric but not all.