Don’t rock the boat, Amy.
That is the message with which I was raised. Lie low, don’t make trouble, stay quiet, pretend what’s happening isn’t really happening. At all costs, please people. Make them like you, or at least make them not notice you exist. Same difference.
Don’t rock the boat, Amy.
Which is perhaps why I find the implications behind the #KeepYAKind campaign so disturbing.
Quick recap: A critically acclaimed YA writer said a troubling and sexist thing in a public interview. Several critics have said that this writer’s portrayal of female characters leaves something to be desired. I have not read his work. (I was supposed to back in January, actually, as his latest critically acclaimed novel was a book club selection, but because I had heard of its problems, I decided to sit out that month. Life is too short, and I have way too many books to read.) As a result of this public interview, there was a public conversation about the problematic nature of this writer’s public comments and his work. There may or may not have been inappropriate behavior (aka harassment and bullying) towards this writer. I haven’t seen any evidence of it myself, but I didn’t spend a lot of time looking for it. #KeepYAKind was a Twitter campaign aimed at stopping the public criticism and conversation. The Booksmugglers write in more detail about it all.
Don’t rock the boat, Amy.
Photo Credit: Putneypics via Compfight cc
It is easy to imagine that whoever started #KeepYAKind had the best of intentions. We all like kindness, right? We don’t want to live and work in a community that supports bullying, do we? Of course we don’t.
The problem with #KeepYAKind is that, like many things on the internet, it lacks nuance. It distracts the focus from one problem–sexism in the publishing industry and YA fiction–and puts it on another problem. And it does so in a muddied way that, whether intentionally or not, works to shut down the conversation about sexism. In such a way it defends the status quo. It says, “Be quiet, women. You’re not allowed to talk about this problem because it isn’t nice.”
No, it isn’t nice. That is the entire point. Sexism isn’t nice. Being seen as a mysterious creature who is stranger and less fathomable than a giant alien insect isn’t nice. Being told not to discuss problematic things in fiction, even if you are a professional reviewer and THAT IS YOUR JOB, isn’t nice. (And, I mean, shouldn’t we all be allowed to discuss problematic things in fiction? I think so.)
But don’t rock the boat. Never mind that it’s sprung a leak or ten.
Whenever I see #KeepYAKind, I think #KeepYANice. Nice is don’t rock the boat. Nice is be a doormat, don’t stand up, don’t enforce your boundaries, don’t speak up when there’s a problem. Nice is not expressing an opinion that might be uncomfortable or difficult or controversial.
#KeepYAKind ignores the reality that sometimes the obvious act of kindness is not the best nor correct nor sustainable thing to do. Amy of a few years ago would have been shocked that I’m saying that, but I sincerely believe it to be true. Kindness is great, but sometimes you have to protect yourself. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. Sometimes you have to stand up for other people too.
Sometimes you have to point out things that are problematic. Sometimes it’s your job to review and analyze a novel or a play or a movie, in which case it is certainly not your job to be kind. It is your job to be insightful and to shed light. It is your job to tell us your opinion. And some people are going to think publicly discussing a negative opinion isn’t very kind either. That’s their prerogative. It doesn’t change the job of those of us who analyze culture and media and society. We aren’t here to sugarcoat. We are here to talk about the things that need to be talked about.
Don’t rock the boat, Amy.
Someone told me recently that acknowledging problematic stuff gives it power. I couldn’t disagree more. Because when we aren’t allowed to acknowledge that something is going on, then nothing will ever change. The problem remains invisible. The status quo is effortlessly maintained. And when everyone is working together to pretend the problem doesn’t exist, it makes us begin to question ourselves, spending our energy on feelings of confusion and isolation instead of on positive change. Keeping busy ignoring a problem DOES NOT MAKE IT GO AWAY. I know some people think it does. I tend to not get along very well with those people.
Now, maybe this writer truly is a very nice guy. From all accounts, he is. And I have compassion for him, because saying something stupid in a public interview and then having the internet fall on your head can’t be very pleasant. Having to really deeply think about the fact that you find giant grasshopper aliens to be less mysterious than women can’t be very pleasant either. And I’m sure some people made disparaging remarks and the like, and that sucks. The internet kind of sucks. Being a public figure kind of sucks.
But we are still accountable, as artists and writers and human beings, for the words we say and the work we create. And that sucks too. It is hard to hold yourself accountable and still be brave enough to create. It’s hard to be an artist knowing you’ll screw up and make mistakes and probably say something really stupid in public someday. It’s hard to admit that perfection is not achievable, and that all we can do is the best we can, and then try to keep learning. It’s hard to realize that our work can be part of the problem, even if we had the very best of intentions.
But that doesn’t mean we should stop talking about the problems in our literature and our pop culture and our society. That doesn’t mean we should stop thinking critically. That doesn’t mean we should look away when there’s a problem, burying our collective heads in the sand. It takes a lot of bravery to be an artist, and it also takes a lot of bravery to acknowledge a problem when it exists so we can work toward increased awareness and change. Both of these roles are important.
Don’t rock the boat? Whatever. I’ve already flipped the damn thing over.
The Practical Free Spirit 
For me the answer is in your post. I agree about almost everything you said. I think these things SHOULD be talked about, we SHOULD cast light on them, and we should call out writers and artists who make mistakes… but “There may or may not have been inappropriate behavior (aka harassment and bullying) towards this writer.” This, I think, where the problem comes in. People make mistakes. And we should let them know we don’t agree, but bullying and denouncing everything the writer has done isn’t the way to handle it.
I agree; I don’t stand behind bullying behavior. I think the problem is twofold: first, that we have a strong and clear definition of what consists of bullying behavior, and second, that we don’t call for complete silence on an issue as a response (aka the definition of bullying cannot be that a person says anything at all about the subject).
Exactly!
Teaching is better than silencing
I have so many opinions on the “Keep YA Kind” situation, but what the whole thing has taught me is: A) people are mean, B) online, mob mentality rules, C) it’s better to keep your mouth shut. This situation has taught me not to rock the boat. The particular criticism of the said YA author’s books bothers the crap out of me because no one considers the context. In one of his recent critically-acclaimed books, the POV is a 16yo boy from a broken home and a troubled life situation. Do you honestly think that character is going to have a well-rounded opinion and viewpoint of females? Consider the context. As far as the interview goes, it seems the interviewer jumped on an opportunity to raise a hot issue, and even though the author responded saying he was trying to do better, he still got flamed. There’s the lesson: you can’t win. Whatever you say, people will be offended. Mob mentality rules. Better to keep your mouth shut. As someone who has experienced sexual harassment in the workplace, hit the glass ceiling more than a few times, was told I can’t be paid the same salary as my male coworker doing the same job because it “would make the other ladies upset”, suffered inappropriate gropings and advances from adult volunteers in high school and from strangers at cons, an author saying he agrees his female characters need work and he’s trying to get better barely registers on the sexism scale for me. There are real battles to be fought. This isn’t one of them, but maybe it was an easy one, creating a figurehead for the larger issue to attack? I don’t know. I’ve probably said too much here, said the wrong things, rocked the boat. Probably best to be quiet now.
Not at all. Discussion is good! I’m glad you said something.
I can’t comment on the book myself since I haven’t read it. But it’s common for reviewers to have different opinions, and I’m all for that.
As for the question, given what I’d already heard about the work, it seemed like a reasonable question to me, not so much going for a hot issue as raising a valid concern. It wasn’t the author saying he was trying to do better that I thought was sexist; I thought that was admirable. But unfortunately what he said before that was pretty wince-worthy in my opinion, and also didn’t make much sense. Being a public personage, people will totally comment on that.
But yeah, you’re right; part of the lesson is people WILL always be offended. People will be offended by the author’s response. People will be offended that people were offended by the author’s response. Being an artist is kind of brutal. But after all the rejections we’ve accumulated, we already knew that, right? 😉
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